Thank you Lauren, for showing me that the internet is for the following amazing things:

  1. A life size whale, on the internet!
  2. if (in_array("girl_problems", $son)) { 
    $feel_bad = true;
    }
    $jay_z = array("problems" => 99, "bitches" => 0);

  3. I will now commence with moving all of my shit into your head.